Life in the NICU

I make it on time as I don't want to miss the opportunity to feed Kaitlyn, first by breast and then by bottle with more breastmilk (she's quite the eater, my 'guzzle baby'). She's on a schedule and occasionally due to her gregarious appetite she throws it off, but nonetheless, I arrive by 8:45am each morning to welcome her into a new day.
Upon approval, I enter the scrubbing room, this is where I must scrub my hands and arms up to the elbow for three full minutes. Some days it feels like an eternity. All I want to do is walk straight in and see my baby girl...breathing, in deep slumber. But, due to policies, and rightfully so, I scrub faithfully thinking about each of her little limbs.
Once scrubbed and suited in a blue hospital 'gown' (glamorous I might add) I am free to walk into the unit and obtain that peace of seeing her.
Some days she is wide eyed, as if she knows I'm coming and she wanted to see me. Other days she is in such a deep slumber when I lift her little fingers they are like feathers-a great sign, really, a sign of pure contentment.
This leads me to the staff at the NICU. The staff help create this contentment for the wee little lives. I have yet to encounter a nurse that makes my heart yelp out with fear. Every nurse has been extremely gracious, genuinely caring and always willing to offer any answers or information that would make any nervous parent (aka, me) at ease. I feel that they are angels watching over not only my Kaitlyn, but the other NICU roomies.
I would imagine some NICU atmospheres are very bland, sterile and cold. Not this one...the walls are painted with a lovely farm scene of all animals and colors and above Kaitlyn's crib is a lovely tree with abundant leaves as if providing her protection and warmth. Very fitting as she will leave that tree and arrive to her own nursery unit at 'Hotel HOME Patterson' with a lovely tree adjacent to her crib to once again provide protection and warmth.
When I arrive at her crib each morning there is a social club going on. The mothers of the other roomies are there holding and cuddling their infants who, much like Kaitlyn, have a unique story as to why they are there. Some are so incredibly tiny, others are wrapped with eye shields and under a tanning bed (not really, that's just what it looks like), and then there are others that look like Kaitlyn when she first arrived--under a special plastic tent with oxygen and IVs and loads of other equipment. The social club has become a familiar gathering and a welcomed way to start the morning. We all say hello to each other and encourage one another with how well our babies are doing, feeding, growing, and even crying. Two of the mothers who maintain a similar schedule to mine, have babies that graduated to crib school simultaneously with Kaitlyn. This means the babies began to wear clothes and can be wheeled into the family room for visitors! Babies are so cute naked and then a different kind of cuteness arrives when they are placed in regular baby clothes! As if clothes make a personality, but in the NICU, the color against their face and the fun little embellishments upon the garment add to the character of the situation and take your mind off the fact that she's still in NICU.
The family room is a wonderful place for respite and for gatherings to show off your baby. We have made our fair share of trips to the family room and I frequent it often after a visit to Kaitlyn to top off my visit with a pumping session to increase my breastmilk supply.
When I leave any of my NICU visits, no matter the news I find out about Kaitlyn's progress or maintenance, I leave with a sense of fulfillment and hope. It's a whole body feeling that takes over. Even when I cry as I leave, the tears are from being fulfilled and hopeful for a new tomorrow.