4 Month Marker

Alot of Steve, a little Sarah---our growing wonder!

Peering through the crib...

Quietly she slumbers through the night. I delicately tiptoe into the room to check on her and often am plagued with feelings of awe. How is it that this tiny being is mine? How did I get so lucky? She is truly incredible. Every small inch of her has personality, tenderness, joy and innocence. May this feeling of awe last forever.

My Dear Husband

Coming home late last night after spending a total of five hours driving to and from family in Ventura by way of Long Beach with random stops in Watts and Beverly Hills for diaper changes and nursing sessions, I was pretty exhausted. Upon getting the car unloaded, baby unpacked and into bed, dog fed and kitchen cleaned, it was nearing 11pm and I ran into two major ant trails trekking some 20 foot marathon--so my night was really just getting started. After spraying RAID excessively upon those pests and saying 'Thank you God for scheduling Terminix this Monday' I was back in the kitchen to make a late night bowl of cereal before retreating to a few chapters in a book when I stumbled upon this incredibly surprising chalk note.

Let me first say Steve has only written one message on this chalk board since it graced our home--a handcrafted/handpainted wedding gift from my hyper talented Aunt Collette last year. It was so long ago I don't even know what it said...but this message, this message will stain my mind and heart forever. I stood with cereal in hand, almost speechless, awestruck, excited, doubtful, elated, surprised...the list of emotion could continue on. I needed this message so badly but how do you tell your husband this? There is no pre-paid conversation card out there that features one-liners like this one, helping a busy husband say the right thing to his wife. No...this was generated by Steve's own doing and will. What prompted him to write it I may never know, but the immediate impact it had upon me was tremendous and will be treasured.

Am I that easy to please? Steve may disagree, but honestly, this love note (as I like to think of it) was better than anything money could buy. To all you Husbands out there, get busy, your wife needs to hear from you that you love her, that she is amazing, that she is the most AWESOME wife and mother in this world. It tells her that you believe in her and all that she is. Now that's the kind of husband I have!

Explosive Exhaustion

By 3:30pm I was still in my PJs but Kaitlyn wasn't. In fact she had been changed four different times due to explosive diapers, you know, the kind where the mustard poop travels up the back and soaks into the new outfit you were so excited for her to wear.

She's also teething so to add to the extra wiping I'm offering extra soothing for all her tears. Needless to say I'm exhausted today. It's been a day of strange mother emotions. I broke down after Steve left for his Academy training initially because Kaitlyn pinched my arm so hard when nursing but then while wallowing in my own misery I started feeling that dark pit emotion called 'who am I' surface. I really don't like embracing this particular emotion because truthfully I am an incredible mother, I'm sure of it, but today I was feeling unimportant as a mother. I can't be the only mom out there who experiences the dark pit emotion but for a couple of hours I was certain I was the only one going through it.

Now my dear Kaitlyn is passed out after falling tenderly asleep in my arms. I'm no longer in PJs and I've eaten some dinner. Watching my Tevo Oprah I feel like a Mother Warrior--Jenny McCarthy's new book. Why not? Afterall I am a Mother first, and now always will be, but a Warrior, yes. I have to push my way through the dark pit emotion, knowing that I am number one in Kaitlyn's eyes. It can be a fight--it's a real one that takes great strength and perseverance. It is easy to feel lost in the mound of unfolded laundry, the dirty kitchen and unmade bed...it is easy to feel like a domesticated failure since you think you should be able to do it all. I'm a stay at home mom, afterall...but, today, I realize I'm a Stay at Home Mother Warrior. If I fail at the laundry today and stay in my PJs until 4pm, forget to mail a letter and eat breakfast for dinner, it doesn't matter. The important elements in my day are wiping my baby's dirty diaper and soothing her teething tears. I'm grateful to be present for these moments, to shine as a Mother Warrior in her eyes!

East Coast Crew

I enjoyed having Stephanie visit recently as much as I enjoyed having Truman, her son, visit from Virginia. Stephanie and I were pregnant at the same time and now that our babies are 4 months old, we are calling each other to talk about raising babies instead of making them! It's actually quite funny-the dynamics of our phone calls. The topics range from gripe water to rashes to bath soaps to husbands ('your husband did what?'....). She's a joy on the phone but it sure was great to have her in person.

Trumie is so different than Kaitlyn. From his size to his demeanor, the two cousins are as different as night and day. I was beginning to think Kaitlyn was enjoying her cousin so much she was becoming 'Little Miss Rascal' as she continually was in his business! It was hilarious to watch unfold.

Part of the weekend festivities involved visits from Uncle Darin and Uncle Scott...and was wrapped up with a lovely afternoon at Great-Grandma's where Great Aunt Sue came along! The cousins were always in arms of love...

Hip Fashion for the Sole

This was fun, shopping for Kaitlyn's shoes. As if the trendy styles weren't enough, the metallic pink put me over the edge. The metallic silver ones will grace her feet this winter when she's more grown-up (but not too grown-up, she has a long way to go until she can fit into something my size)!

24 hours of GRANDPARENTS

How lucky is our sweet girl?
She has her Nana only 50 minutes away to the west, her Grandma & Grandpa only 35 minutes away to the east along with her Great Grandmother 45 minutes south. During the past 24 hours she has enjoyed quality time with everyone of them! It all started yesterday with a slumber party at Nana's, lunch today with Great Grandmother and then dessert with Grandma & Grandpa. I think this daughter of mine keeps my social calendar filled to the max--I'm not complaining, I am so grateful for every ounce of their love!

Bling, Bling...

It happened! We took Kaitlyn to Claire's at the Lakewood Mall and got her ears pierced! I was so nervous and felt my insides turning around until we met Nellie, the Piercing Expert...she was WONDERFUL. Within minutes Kaitlyn began crying, more out of being tired and hungry so eventually I nursed her to calm her. Then the piercing began...thirty seconds of what seemed like an eternity for Kaitlyn, resulted in two stunning crystals occupying her lovely earlobes only to showcase her gorgeous eyes and contagious smile (even though the smile didn't come until after the two full minutes of screaming--which made me feel like I was abusing my child until I looked at her and melted). I didn't cry, good ole Nellie kept me strong along with my Mother-in-Law! Sarah was snapping away, documenting the moment step by step in pure delight! We wrapped up our outing with a summer sunset stroll, pierced and happy!

Kaitlyn,
Nellie really was a Piercing Expert--it all started when her mother pierced her ears at home when she was four days old and truly that was just the beginning. Nellie was pierced all over. While I appreciate that Nellie positioned your crystals so that if one day you would like to get another piercing on your lobe I would hope you won't follow in Nellie's footsteps and pierce your lip (both the upper and the lower), your brow and even some of your cartilage either in your nose or going up your ear creating a train of studs and hoops. If you do, possibly you will say what Nellie said, 'It's a phase.' I love you sweetheart, with or without earrings...

Kickin' it with Cuz...

What an absolute treat...Natalia came for a visit and it turned into a slumber party! She stayed over with her mom, Kaitlyn's Aunt Sandra. The gals had such fun in their bumbo chairs and Natalia, being that she is 3 1/2 months older, enjoyed playing with some of Kaitlyn's toys that she doesn't know exist yet! As a mother, and wife to one of the Patterson twins, it was such a lovely visit with Sandra (married to the other Patterson twin). I feel as if both her and I have grown so much as individuals due to being married to these brilliant twins but especially due to becoming mothers. Life becomes more full, your perspective on living becomes deeper and your awareness of every action taken and word spoken becomes magnified. Children change hearts, lives and even your own purpose.
Sandra and I went to this great clothing store, Naartjie, and got lost in the baby clothes. The fashion possibilities were overwhelming. Needless to say we both made a dent in our pocketbooks picking out some of the store's finest!

San Diego Sun

Kaitlyn has been waiting for this day to arrive--she met her cousin, Truman, this afternoon for the first time. He is only a week older than her and lives in a town outside of Washington, D.C., so the opportunity to hang out is very rare. While this meeting was short, the two of them will have multiple days together in a couple more weeks (this basically means more pictures to come)!

Kaitlyn thought Truman was hilarious as he made high pitched screeching sounds during lunch and he loved making grumpy faces even though he was more than happy to be in Grandma's arms. Kaitlyn couldn't decide if he looked more like his dad, Uncle Jeff, or Uncle Benet (see photo).

I'm quite impressed with this little gem of mine. She endured two full days in the San Diego sun over this Labor Day weekend and definitely did not get her mother's skin. She showed no sign of sun damage, only a soft dusting of pink upon her cheeks and nose to prove she was outside enjoying the summer days. I on the other hand roasted and turned out like a lobster. Saturday she met some of Steve's dear friends, the Pentheroudakis family--a vibrant Greek family with a daughter, Eleni-Steve's classmate during Med School, who married into a vibrant Italian family. The festivities continued when today she met her two aunts and their sisterhood circle of friends. It was a jammed weekend of driving and socializing, she handled the stimulation with great finesse!

She's got legs!

Yes, my girl has the legs that will take her far in life, I just know it! 'Baby Chub' is too cute!