Monday, October 26, 2009

Last Hours

Dear Sarphen, soon to be Dylan, Trent or Drew....
I am anxiously awaiting your arrival. Tomorrow, bright and early, like 5:30am, the doctor is going to induce me so you can wiggle your way out sooner than you probably anticipated. It's a brilliant plan as you have really begun to weigh me down. Today I sure felt you digging for gold and who knows what else as I have felt like a train crashed into my pelvis region at various points during the afternoon! You know if you are named Dylan, which means 'of the Sea', you sure have the power of the ocean behind you in all that you do (in utero and of course upon entering into this lovely world).
If you are to be named Trent, it's such a strong masculine name that means 'gushing waters'...yet another water related name. One day we will visit the River Trent in England in honor of your name! Your Daddy will probably want to see some NFL team play that has a player named Trent as he was often inspired by the athletes of todays time for your potential name!
Now, if Drew seems more fitting, 'wise' is the meaning and I already know that wise you will be. I plan on learning a great deal from you...from how you will view the world to how you will create your path in this life.
Well, the last hours approach before I arrive to receive whatever medicine they give to stimulate the process of your arrival. During these last hours I am savoring the moments of being a mommy to one precious girl, your big sister, while dancing with excitement for the new grace that you will bring into our lives!
I love you,

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Simple Moments

Her personality is becoming stronger and stronger. Hats are a must, and now I'm realizing so are the shoes-even if they don't match. She has been known to wear one shoe from one pair and another shoe from another pair over wearing either the same shoes or no shoes. If a hat is lying around it's hers. Watch out, it could get ugly if you think it belongs to you. The other day our morning started with the desire for wearing a swimmer (diaper that is for wearing in the pool) as a hat. How could we deny her the sure enough she began prancing through her bedroom with this Finding Nemo swimmer tight upon her head like an odd shaped beanie! She truly thought it was the coolest since the introduction of ketchup on her lunch plate.

I've had a real difficult week with Kaitlyn. While I lightly declare that her personality is becoming stronger and stronger, it's not a light matter. Along with the strong willed behavior echoing throughout our day, she has become quite fond of convulsive like tantrums. Moms may not ever want to reveal this truth about their kids so they keep this shadow trait under wraps, but sorry, I know I'm not the ONLY one with a daughter who flings her legs haphazardly while knocking her head back and swinging her arms all simultaneously as she tumbles to the nearest floor surface. It's awful to watch, it's awful to cope with, and it's just as awful to try and understand it.

Yesterday one occurred when I told her I couldn't carry her down the 16 steps in our home (no matter that she didn't have a clue that my level of comfort with this pregnancy at 39 weeks, 1 day was absolutely non-existent and that some minor contractions were occurring)...the tantrum began and didn't end for what felt like an eternity. I was a breath away from sobbing over her when trying to calm her down....what finally saved the moment was my screeching back. Her whole body was startled. Then laughter set in and before I knew it, we were looking at the prism rainbows on the wall of the stairwell, formed by our leaded glass window, and inching our way down the steps. What just happened? It was crazy. I was exhausted over it. She carried on into her afternoon like nothing ever happened. Oh my.

Today was quite different. While we encountered a mild tantrum, today was a day that reminded me how incredible children are-the joy they can bring into your life, the stillness they can bring into your mind and the laughter they can put upon your heart. Kaitlyn loves chalk-she loves crayons, too, but chalk is a bit more exciting as we always do it outside with the elements of nature surrounding us. As I sat in the distance, looking up here and there from my mail, I would find myself in awe over her contentment with chalk. She makes her way around the concrete patio, marking lines over and over in one color then retraces her steps with another color, adding more lines to contrast the design. It's really quite a process to watch unfold. The entire time she is engaged in this, she is engaged in nothing else. Totally absorbed in the moment. I captured her as it brought me stillness and gratitude-something I was lacking after the tumultuous encounter of yesterday!

Despite what is normal, expected behavior, a tantrum will never be something I like to think is normal, expected behavior. It's grueling to be around and even harder to soothe. I must say patience is truly a virtue. It takes great patience to set aside your own emotional distress and remain calm for the little one. I now face the question why? Why does Kaitlyn have such BIG outpours of frustration? It could be for no other reason than it's 'normal and expected behavior' to a litany of other off the wall ideas that all could have weight! I just know it's 'lets test mother out' time and it's tough. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? Please remind me of this when three weeks from now, Steve returns to work, Grandma and Nana are back into their own routines and I'm flying solo around here with a newborn and a strong-willed toddler. I am anticipating some extremely difficult moments, I might actually sob a few times...I can almost sob thinking about it.

One day at a time. Savor the delight of today as tomorrow who knows what it will bring!

Friday, October 16, 2009

B I G Boy Patterson

My sweet boy, I feel you all the time. From the foot in the rib to the head in the pelvis and lately, all the extra sensations that seem to come along with each of your moves. Apparently you are getting quite hearty and with that there isn't much room for you to do your pilates and strength training. Your head is certainly stuck in the downward facing dog position-if it moves any further into my pelvis you will be entering into this world so hang on tight, your arrival may come sooner than you anticipate. I understand you are already about 9lbs 10oz and quite frankly, can only get larger, so please may the bribing start in utero? What can I do to get you to arrive before week 40? I think it will be easier for you and easier for me if we can partner on this process and plan to have a 'welcome to the world' party around the 22nd! Sounds good, doesn't it?
In any case, since you will be coming home within the next two weeks, I have a few things to tell you about. First, you have an older sister! She's an absolute doll and while she may find your arm tasty like a chicken leg, or your eyes intriguing enough to put her finger in them, she means well and within no time will be my little helper changing your diapers and ultimately teaching you the ropes about independent play and hot dogs with ketchup. I'm sure you will resent her sometimes, wish she would sleep outside at other times, but most of the time I know you will adore her and look up to her as she is a great being to witness!

Secondly, you have a dog. He's a huge love once he settles down and believe me, he's super excited about your Homecoming. In fact I think he may have known you were on your way before I even knew. He has a keen sense of competition-as he knows he will be placed on the back burner for a couple of months until we can all go walking as a family: you, Kaitlyn, Cosimo and me! Yes, believe me, these walks will be something you will look forward to!

Finally I want you to know how proud I am of you already. You have been doing so well inside my womb, frolicking around, maintaining a strong and steady heartbeat, absorbing my many nutrients, and of course, thriving quite well. My prayer for you is that as you enter this world your first breath of air will give you an abundance of gifts. Gifts of great character, integrity, faith, perseverance, tenderness, compassion, strength and wisdom. You will only grow up from this point on and these gifts will be required of you throughout your many years to come. May you inhale them with vigor!

I patiently await your arrival despite my aches, pains, sleepless nights, and memorable emotions.....I love you already and know my love for you can only further blossom.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Brie-Kaitlyn's new friend

Nana came over with Brie-her new puppy. Kaitlyn was in love, actually, it was love at first sight. She grabbed that dog with such zeal that if you listened closely, the dog actually squealed! They were pals the entire day causing Kaitlyn to fight nap time and forget bedtime. Who wants that when there is a puppy in residence!
Brie-you can come over anytime!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Our little artists

Sticks seemed to be the hit of the afternoon after the painting lost its appeal!


Looking at a plane flying by!

The cousins after finishing their projects!

Our creation for Daddy-the ghost is a cut-out of her foot! So clever!

Working on the pumpkin...

Cousin Natalia all dressed and ready for some painting fun!

The Sawdust Factory has got to be a fabulous place for imagination and creation! Children of all ages let their creativity run free and these darling wooden trinkets turn into masterpieces! The cousins had a great time diving into the paint, eating it, touching it and occasionally actually painting with it!

Pumpkin Patch Days...

The 100+ degree heat has finally tapered down and a chill came upon us this past Sunday. Feeling the need to embrace the seasonal spirit, Kaitlyn and I left Steve to be a total boy for the afternoon (hours and hours of football on HD, Guitar Hero and who knows what else...) and ventured east to the Glen Oak Pumpkin Patch where live blues music was going on, pony rides and pygmy goats were to be loved and fed, and pumpkins galore where harvested to purchase! Our little gem wore her purple polka dot shades the entire time! Such personality!

Raider's Cheerleader

It may not be obvious, but she is in a cheerleading outfit-a gift given to Steve (bloomers and all, despite her not wearing them for this photo) from the Hodgkinsons! Her counterpart in crime is Brody (best friend) who is decked out in Broncos gear. We had the Kruger's over for the big game last Sunday and while the Raiders continued to look bad at all times and all angles, Steve held up rather well and Kaitlyn pranced around in her loyal fan gear supporting her dad's favorite team! Yes, the Raiders lost....and the Bronco fans temporarily took ownership of our home...having Steve hold a Bronco's was a funny afternoon! All complete with great hamburgers, beans, corn and left over party food! Yummy!

Baby Boy Party...

He's a reason for a gathering...he's the reason for this coming Halloween season...he's the reason for all of the blue and the reason my belly grew! Family and some friends came together on the 26th to celebrate this little bugger....Dylan, Drew or Trent. Yes, we've finally come to the last three names! Middle names are still up in the air and heck, his arrival date is, too! I'm facing week 37 on Thursday and have already had some lovely contractions-big enough to wake me up at night and long enough to stop me in my tracks!

Katherine-a Kaitlyn friend!

Brody-Kaitlyn's best friend and 'co-host' of the party!

Darling...Uncle Darin holding JD, Reigan's little bundle of love!

Our cake for baby Sarphen!

No Patterson party is complete until the dominoes come out!

Penny Schoch (Sanders) and her little one, Oli! What a cutie!

Mr. JD Knotts (in our bassinet)

Look at the face on the TV...he's amused by the diapers!

A Broncos hat (from Brody & his parents-pure fans) to generate some laughs-and laughs they did (short lived laughs from Steve, mind you)! He's such a die hard Raiders fan, no matter how bad they are or how bad the head coach acts...

Reigan and I-such a gift to have her travel out for the shower!

Nana and our sweet cousin, Natalia!

Cousin Chiara holding the cutest blue-eyed JD!

Can't you tell these two girls are sisters? Madison & Ella-guest of Kaitlyn!

Candied Popcorn..our party favors!

Notice that Kaitlyn wasn't in any of the photos? Well, she was passed out for the duration of the party-she was zonked! Toast! In a deep slumber...