I found myself reading some of the first blog entries I wrote over a year ago. My heart sank a bit as this pregnancy is so different emotionally. My desire to hibernate in the nursery has diminished, now it's a practical location for diaper changing and afternoon story time. The heirloom bassinet was fancied up for Kaitlyn and while I do think about changing the look for baby #2, 'Sarphen', I wonder when I will find the time to actually sit down and design something in addition to figuring out our new sewing machine.
Recognizing that I was exclusively emotionally invested in preparing for Kaitlyn while pregnant and facing the stark reality that I hardly have time to focus on Sarphen during this pregnancy, I found myself in an overwhelming emotional stir this afternoon. I snuck into the nursery during Kaitlyn's nap to grab something and basically stumbled over my own internal roar of sentimental motherhood. Kaitlyn was in a deep slumber with her bottom pushed into the air and her belly atop her 'Pony' (a baby blanket/stuff animal-excellent gift). This moment stopped me in my tracks. I'm going to have two sleeping beauties...
In the same room.
Sometimes crying at the same time.
One pulling on my arm, the other pulling for the boob.
Both on my lap for story time.
And hopefully both in the bath with ease.
One running and the other scooting.
One chasing Cosimo and the other looking at Cosimo.
Poor Cosimo.
I will be spotted pushing a duel stroller.
Will I ever go to the grocery store with both?
Oh my, the chore one errand will bring.
Both will sleep, and then so will I, I hope.
Both will calm my heart and fill me with joy, bring me to tears, and lift my spirits.
Both will capture me in a way I could never imagine.
Both will be little treasures.
I stood still for some moments thinking about the magnitude of this growing responsibility called motherhood. Sarphen was certainly thought of today in a special, tender way. As Kaitlyn continues to grow, talk and walk, I pause and inhale gratitude for all that has come our way. Sarphen will be a new adventure all of her/his own and then the two siblings together will be yet another adventure.
By the way, don't get any ideas. Sarphen is the nickname for Baby #2 as Stevrah was Kaitlyn's nickname. Both are combined versions of Stephen and Sarah! Thanks to my husband, he's the creative linguist around here!
